Sweet 16

This past weekend my firstborn turned sweet 16, I can’t believe how fast time flies. With this special day came memories and regrets, so here is my apology letter to her.

 

My Dearest Daughter,

Today is a special day for you, but in many ways a sad one for me. I have enjoyed watching you grow and blossom. I have loved watching you do all of your “firsts” and watching you have your first failures. I am so blessed that God saw me fit to have you.  I have not always been the best mom in the world, this is not your fault, but my own. 18 is too young to have a baby, but my mistake turned in to a blessing when you began developing inside me. I loved you from the beginning, even when you were as small as a piece of rice. I remember the nurses saying “What a beautiful baby,” and you were.  I am so sorry for so many things, but most of all I am so sorry for the time we had to spend apart, I wish I would have been able to stay home with you when you were small. I dreaded working, but all we had was me and I had to. I am sorry I didn’t give you longer as “the baby,'”  I know your brother interrupted some of that important bonding time. I am sorry I let the pressures of being a young, single mom engulf me, you were my shoulder to cry on at such a young age. You offered so much love, your small hands on my tear streaked face were more comforting than anything else. As you grew and started school I became more and more proud of you, even with the addition of baby # 3. You were so brave getting on the school bus by yourself and then the next year holding your little brother’s hand as he got on the school bus for the first time.  I’m sorry that things were so rough for us for a while, I know that you were carrying the burden as well. I’m sorry that I did not know how to react when you needed me during your preteen years, looking back there is so much I should have said, and so many hugs I should have given. I am sorry that at times I seem so inattentive, I should have been a better listener. I love you , and despite everything else you have become a beautiful, smart, and well-rounded young woman. Everyday you make me proud to be your mother, in the past few years you have taught me some lessons. You are a mirror image of me, and still today it makes me smile when I see you imitate the things that I do. You are the greatest blessing and you are my heart, I love you and HAPPY SWEET 16 !

 

Love Your Mother

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